Not Lost, Just Undiscovered

Things that gripe my ass

2008-07-25T08:40:00.003-04:00

So, I got a raise at work, effective July 1. Awesome right?

I also moved to Maryland, so now the state will deduct my taxes right from paycheck and I won't have to go through the song and dance of making estimated payments, etc. Awesome right?

NO.

NOT AWESOME.

I checked my account balance this morning since we got paid and I got paid less this time than I have almost ever.

Those god damn Maryland democrats are taking my money on taxes and spending it to teach kids Eskimo poetry and save the whales.

Wait, I am a Maryland democrat.

Ok well, I guess it's going to go use.

I want my money.

Writing at least 2 times a week

2008-07-22T15:31:00.003-04:00

...even if it kills me.

It might kill me.

Thanks Jason, you're always an inspiration.

So I was asked to evaluate the relationships of the 10 people I interact with most.

This was daunting to find 10 people I felt worthy of such an exercise.

And I tried to put this exercise to constructive use, starting with M2 (those of you who don't know who that is, ask and I'll tell you) and he was completely resistant to it. He avoids conflict at all costs, and I've found that to be counterproductive for me.

I tried to explain the balance between picking a fight and flushing out grievances in a timely and respectful manner.

I realized that his top phrases are (in no particular order):
1) it is what it is
2) I don't know what to tell you
3) I don't want to argue
4) you would

These are avoidance phrases if I've ever heard them, and I don't think it's healthy for me to be in a friendship with someone who isn't willing to at least discuss the difficult stuff with me. It makes me realize that my friends who I've had spats with, even full blown fights and year(s) long spells of not speaking to each other, are wonderful and courageous people, because I am not an easy verbal sparring partner.

But I think in my 25 years I've learned when you fold em and when to hold em. And, hopefully after tomorrow, will have a better idea where to proceed with the relationships of the people I interact with most, because some of them, I found out this weekend, are not at all healthy.

On a positive note, I think my sunburn has finally stopped peeling.

You know what that means...

All of you who bought stock in Aloe and other associated Johnson and Johnson products are out of luck. I tried to boost the economy with one bad sunburn, but alas...even my Irishness couldn't get us out of this one.

We have blue bowls

2008-07-14T10:16:00.001-04:00

Inside joke from when we were painting pottery at Color Me Mine.

I made a kick arse bowl too, which I can't wait to pick up on Friday. Wee.

The Friday..err...Monday Five?

2008-07-07T08:58:00.003-04:00

1. What drink wakes you up best in the morning?
I really enjoy a nice glass of pulp free orange juice. Wakes up the taste buds.

2. During the day, what do you drink to keep going?
Ice cold coca-cola. I know it's bad, but its so good.

3. Do you drink the recommended 8 glasses of water per day? Why/why not?
I don't, but when I used to, I did feel a lot better. Especially during the 9 times a day I had to pee.

4. What are the ingredients of your favorite mixed drink? (Doesn't have to be alcoholic!)
I am addicted to sour mix.

5. Are you a coffee drinker? How do you take your coffee, if so?
Not really a coffee drinker, but when I do, cream and two sugars.

Feeling is overrated

2008-06-10T16:49:00.002-04:00

I feel like in the past 6 months, I've been punched in the gut (proverbially) more times than ever before in my life.

I think that I've finally discovered the reason why; I've allowed myself to feel, love, gethurt, and heal, for the first time in a long time.

And I don't know if I am any better for it.

That being said, I've made one of the best friends of my entire life who will keep hurting me and loving me all at the same time, just not in the ways I want him to.

So that's my baggage I guess.

Ok Enough Of this Sappiness

2008-06-09T22:00:00.003-04:00

And now, a picture of a panda, just to make you smile.

As Matty would say, Pandas are nature's cuddlebugs.

Maryland, my Maryland

2008-06-09T21:47:00.004-04:00

That's right. You heard it here first.

Maribeth is making her triumphant return back to Maryland.

And she's completely excited and freaked out about it.

As much as I have missed my friends and partners in crime in Maryland, being close to work and family...I've begun to realize that I am going to be really sad leaving Virginia.

I've made friends here, found a neighborhood....and I grew up here. This room houses a lot of memories; a lot of great times, a lot of trying times.

I likened it today to living in the same dorm room, with the same roommates, your entire college career. Even though they piss you off, and you're ready to move on, you're completely aware of how they've affected your life.

I went through my first real job here; found a social life without the safety net of friends nearby; made my first big girl purchase here; navigated my way to a job I like; and found out what I'm really made of. That when the going gets tough, I fight back.

It took the state of Virginia and getting just far enough away to not be able to rely on anyone else but myself to see that my moral compass is pretty well tuned. I know what works for me and what I want out of life, love, friendships, roommates, and colleagues.

Three and a half years ago, I couldn't say that with any certainty.

I think you grow up more in the 4 years after college than you do during the 20 years leading up to that point. I am a prime example of that.

So while I say goodbye to the Commonwealth with a tear in my eye (hides it quickly) I am looking forward to a better quality of life, less of a commute, and more quality friend time with my Maryland people in the future.

And don't worry VA, I'll pay conjugal visits.

Pop Culture Run Amok

2008-04-28T20:44:00.002-04:00

I found out this past weekend that my mom has watched, of her own volition, Flavor of Love AND Rock of Love.

I thought it would take a lot more than something as trivial as celebreality television to crack my foundation; in one off the cuff remark by my mom after a family dinner Saturday night, I think my world was rocked. I'm talking an off-the-Richter-scale realization that my parents have cable and could possibly watching the same crap television that I secretly watch at 2am when I can't sleep. I'm still feeling the aftershocks!

I mean, this is akin to finding out one of my parents dabbled in drugs or had an illegitimate child!

Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic. But when my 54 year old mother could name all of the Flavor of Rock of Love Part 34323 girls, I was aghast.

I still am.

What has this world come to.

Sticker on your rear windshield?

2008-04-19T10:01:00.003-04:00

Might as well be a bullseye.

Driving in traffic yesterday morning (well, mostly sitting in traffic, thank you Pope Benedict), I began thinking: How does someone decide what sticker to put on their bumpers/rear windshield?

There's the usual university window sticker faithful, proud alumni who want to let you know that they went to a better school than you did.

There's the flower child faithful, who put butterflies and rainbows all over their car's backside, just to let you know they're cute, girly, gay, and/or under the age of 18.

Then there's the political sticker posse, who want to let you know that behind this Suburban driving, gas guzzling ride is a diehard NRA member who, if you shoot them a dirty look when they cut you off for the 392nd time on the highway, that there's a loaded Glock in the glove compartment.

Likewise, there are the campaign stickers, no matter how out of date they are. You are supporting your candidate with that faded Sore/Loserman sticker from 2001 no matter what the public says. It's your civic duty, even though Pat Buchanan isn't even running for anything, or you still support Bill Richardson though he never polled above 14%.

Like tramp stamps, rearview window and bumper stickers are forever. Just like that tribal tattoo just above the crack of your ass, (for Jisrael who actually read this blog I have two words for you: plastic thong) I will judge you for having a lame set of stickers on your car. Keep it simple; keep it timeless, and for God's sake, keep it funny. Otherwise, what am I going to pay attention to when driving, the actual highway?

That's crazy talk.

Would you like some cheese

2008-04-15T11:53:00.003-04:00

With that whine?

God bless my employees, they really do deal with a lot of crap, changes, difficult customers and less than forthcoming students with grace and ease.

But if you see a problem, don't tell me about every instance of the problem. Fix it, and let me know the overarching theme after you have adequately fixed it.

Or, if you bring a problem to me, and I say that I will speak with the person who caused it, don't immediately back down and say "well, I don't want it to be a big deal or beat a dead horse." Must not have been that big of a problem, huh? Must've been ok and you just felt like hearing yourself talk for 5 more minutes?

Did you also notice that during those 5 minutes (5 minutes of my life I will never get back, mind you) that I was sorting through a stack of paper, typing an email, and mentally querying 34 different ways to staple your mouth shut?

Probably not, because you live in self absorption land. Population you.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Thank You Uncle Sam...

2008-04-14T20:22:00.003-04:00

For reminding me that I have no real net worth.

I find the tax talk humorous, as I have a student assistant of mine who is an accounting major; coworkers with property and IRAs and retirement; my parents who are talking about retirement more and more each passing week (which is bizarre to me, seeing as my dad now takes every Wednesday off, and coming from a man who has taken 4 sick days in his entire adult life, that is quite a feat)...I realized something.

I am worth. Nothing.

I mean, I pay my taxes. I have a decent annual income and its growing with every passing performance review (Thanks State of Maryland). I owed the state of Virginia money this year and I have a car loan so, clearly, a few people are happy to see me being a semi-productive member of society as it means they can take more money from me.

But I need to start investing or buying property or punching out some spawn. I think my tax liability would go way down and really, come tax time, it'd be nice to not resort to filling out the 1040EZ form because I don't really have cause to itemize..well, anything.

My taxes this year, took me :drumroll please: 25 minutes to prepare and file. And that included trying to find my personal property tax bill from last year to see if it would help me get some more money back.

It didn't, just in case anyone is keeping score.

So, if anyone has an island they'd like to sell me, a condo that might be a little less than what you expected and you want to unload it, I've got that $600 stimulus package refund burning a hole in my pocket and I've got to do my part to help jump start the floundering economy. I mean, what else am I going to do with it?

I could go to dinner or by a new pair of sassy shoes, but really, am I the only one who thinks that spending$600 in the face of enormous mortgage and credit card debt is like pissing on a forest fire just so you can say you "did your part?"

I didn't think so.

Bringin it back

2008-04-14T20:00:00.002-04:00

So I've been on, what, almost a year-long hiatus. I think it's high time I start posting again. And really, I know you guys out there in blogger land will appreciate it.

If you think of something interesting that you want me to write about, I am there. I am always looking for inspiration, and what better inspiration than my readers?!

That being said, this exercise is the last post that I put up on Blogger, and maybe it's a good place to start. Here goes!

You know the deal. Open your music library, put it on shuffle. Write down what comes up.

Opening Credits:
Redhead Walking - REM

Waking Up:
Forget Myself - Third Eye Blind

First Day At School:
Stop This Train - John Mayer

Falling in Love:
This Year's Love - David Gray

Breaking Up:
1, 2, 3, 4 Something New - Coolio

Prom:
Push It - Garbage

Life’s Okay:
Fly Like a Bird - Mariah Carey

Mental Breakdown:
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer

Driving:
Not Coming Home - Maroon 5

Flashback:
Hynotize - Notorious BIG

Getting Back Together:
Maneater - Hall and Oates!

Wedding:
This is the Last Time - Keane

Birth of a Child:
Rescue - Eve 6

Final Battle:
Rock You Like a Hurricane - The Scorpions

Death Scene:
October - U2

Funeral Song:
Darwin - Third Eye Blind

End Credits:
Black Cat - Janet Jackson

This is all Phil's Phault.

2007-06-22T20:25:00.000-04:00

You know the deal. Open your music library, put it on shuffle. Write down what comes up.

Opening Credits:
Blinded - Third Eye Blind

Waking Up:
Brilliant Disguise - Bruce Springsteen

First Day At School:
Vultures - John Mayer ----- HOW APPROPRIATE.

Falling in Love:
Wandering - Ben Folds

Breaking Up:
Where the Streets Have No Name - U2

Prom:
God of Wine - Third Eye Blind (very very appropriate)

Life’s Okay:
I'll Do Anything - Jason Mraz

Mental Breakdown:
Kill Yourself - Timbaland and Sebastian

Driving:
His Name is Lancelot- Spamalot

Flashback:
What Comes Around - Beastie Boys

Getting Back Together:
Mysterious Ways - U2

Wedding:
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim (this is going to be my pump up song for Nolan's wedding now. its official)

Birth of a Child:
Dreaming With a Broken Heart - John Mayer. Wow, way to be a downer iTunes....

Final Battle:
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

Death Scene:
Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me - U2

Funeral Song:
Light's Out - Billy Redfield

End Credits:
Move Bitch, Get Out the Way - Ludacris. Apparently, I go out hard.

I was right about Billy Donovan.

2007-06-05T22:26:00.000-04:00

I would just like the record to state that I was right about Billy Donovan. He is a skeezer, and I hope the world knows it.

I don't want to hear anymore hype about how his heart is in Gainesville and that he made a mistake by signing with the Magic. No.

That's a load of crap.

Now that no one will wipe his ass for him after his morning constitutional like they did a UF, NOW the reality sets in. The lifespan of an NBA coach who can't immediately produce after you win back to back national titles will be about 3.4 seconds.

Billy D, how do you think your loyal Gator fans will receive you after you ditched them for a bigger paycheck and the possibility of more exposure after the amount of press you've gotten from winning a pair of Sears Trophies?

You're officially gator bait Billy-D. I hope you enjoy it. I know I will.

You get the Womp Womp Award of the Week.

Hump Day

2007-05-30T21:44:00.000-04:00

Yes, all. It's hump day. Again.

I was sick today so in my search for humps that weren't Fergalicious, this is the only one that made me laugh.

CAMEL HUMPS.

Not to be confused with camel.........toes.

Gross. Sorry.

That's all I got.

More soon.......

Hear No Evil

2007-05-27T23:02:00.000-04:00

If there's one thing I know in this world, it's music.

For those of you who may not know, I was/am a pretty big music dork. From elementary school through high school, I was HEAVILY involved in the instrumental music scene. While some people might have the Pavlovian response of "pshh, loooooser!" I could not disagree more. I attribute my math SAT scores solely to the fact that my parents let me take music lessons as a kid. Otherwise, I think the concept of fractions would still confound me to this day.

Aside from my awesome ability to determine was meter a song is written in within 2 bars or make snotty comments when some American Idol wannabe is completely out of tune and "pitchy, dawg," I have this bizarre ability to listen to music and commit their hooks to memory.

(For those of you who don't know what a hook is, I refer to you Wikipedia)

So after I downloaded the new Maroon 5 album and listened to it on my way up to my sister's place in western Maryland this Memorial Day weekend, I realized... damn you Adam Levine. You've yoinked a hook from one of John Mayer's songs.

As an experiment, listen to "Nothing Lasts Forever" on Maroon 5's new release.

Then, listen to "Stop This Train" on John Mayer's album Continuum.

Now, not only are the song structures strikingly similar, it seems as though the progressions are the same as well.

Maybe it's just the conspiracy theorist in me running amok again. But as I said in the beginning....

If there's one thing in this world I know, it's music!

Hump Day

2007-05-23T20:17:00.000-04:00

Before It Was Hot presents....

Hump day.

Bringing you a new hump variety every Wednesday.

The hump for Wednesday, May 23, 2007 is....

The SPEED HUMP

Sometimes referred to as speed bumps, this often annoying but somewhat necessary lump of asphalt, tar, and gravel saves more squirrels, school children, and ladies than you could shake a stick it.

The Hump of the Week will be back this time next week with another hump variety.

...really, that's all I got.

Give me caffeine or give me death

2007-05-22T17:33:00.000-04:00

If the world only knew that kind of sacrifices it takes to get a caffeinated beverage on this campus, they would be SHOCKED and APPALLED.

The greatest single day in my office's history was the day I discovered they had put in a 20oz bottle sosda machine in the basement of our building.

Seriously, I came up one morning and displayed my 20oz Mountain Dew like it was the Holy Grail.

....and on the 7th day God created caffeinated beverages on command...

and it was good.

But my students, to the shock and horror of the entire staff, realized today that Pepsi, the lovely corporate machine that they are, raised their prices by a quarter.

That's right. They raised their prices overnight from 1 George Washington to 2 George Washingtons. A DOLLAR TWENTY FIVE.

It's bad enough that a bitch can't get a Coke product around here without selling her favorite shoes and an ovary. Now you're going to charge me another 25 cents for your already inferior PepsiCo product?

Last time I checked sugar futures, they weren't going up. Nor was the price of high fructuose corn syrup, caramel color, or carbon dioxide. Perhaps this is the beginning of the trickle down affect that increasing gas prices is having on our economy.

I think I should write a letter to my congressperson and say "we must stop our dependency on foreign oil if for no other reason that it's costing me more money not only at the gas pump, but at my beverage pump."

The Next Life Step

2007-05-20T21:05:00.000-04:00

It's that magically reminiscent time of year, where Earth makes the magical leap from certain spring into uncertain summer; a leap that makes newly anointed graduates with a Bachelor's degree in the field du jour quiver in their Reefs and ask "what's next?"

That's not a question easily answered, even three years out of college. The only thing that becomes easier to know the older you get is what you'll inevitably be doing Monday morning. But even that question, compounded by the pressures of getting ahead, getting even, and getting hitched, becomes increasingly daunting.

Insert quarter-life crisis metaphor here.

I never thought that I would be one to have a 'life crisis' of sorts. I take back every cliched eye-roll I've thrown at someone who has mentioned a quarter life crisis. Including you, Mr. Mayer.

I'm pretty sure that it's in your mid-twenties that your powers of self reflection and awareness are at their keenest. You begin to realize the inertia of your life. The more you do the more you're expected to do. The more you do something you hate, the more you think you have to get out of it now before you get old and don't have a choice. And that poses a problem.

It's quirky, even favorable, to have a couple of jobs right after you graduate; to float around and see what's a best fit for you. Your parents support you, your friends are still in graduate school so what do they know about the real world and you know, feeding themselves. Then you hit that magical 3 year the-honeymoon-is-over mark. Where you have to shit or get off the pot. You're in a career or you'd better have figured out your ideal career, or what graduate program to throw yourself headfirst into, or you get painted with a flaky brush.

However, the look of horror when you tell the people in your life of a career in flux doesn't even approach the look of horror that flashes across the eyes of a parent who realizes their offspring is 24 and hasn't dated anyone serious since they still had their provisional license.

The wedding invitations come, the save the date cards flood the mailbox, and you realize that the clock is ticking. Not the biological clock; the happily ever after clock. Oh yeah, and there's that "you only have 4 more months to get a date to your best friend's wedding" clock.

That one ticks a little louder than the biological or happily ever after clock.

But here's to a chick that takes a licking and keeps on ticking.