I feel like in the past 6 months, I've been punched in the gut (proverbially) more times than ever before in my life.
I think that I've finally discovered the reason why; I've allowed myself to feel, love, gethurt, and heal, for the first time in a long time.
And I don't know if I am any better for it.
That being said, I've made one of the best friends of my entire life who will keep hurting me and loving me all at the same time, just not in the ways I want him to.
So that's my baggage I guess.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Ok Enough Of this Sappiness
And now, a picture of a panda, just to make you smile.
As Matty would say, Pandas are nature's cuddlebugs.
As Matty would say, Pandas are nature's cuddlebugs.
Maryland, my Maryland
That's right. You heard it here first.
Maribeth is making her triumphant return back to Maryland.
And she's completely excited and freaked out about it.
As much as I have missed my friends and partners in crime in Maryland, being close to work and family...I've begun to realize that I am going to be really sad leaving Virginia.
I've made friends here, found a neighborhood....and I grew up here. This room houses a lot of memories; a lot of great times, a lot of trying times.
I likened it today to living in the same dorm room, with the same roommates, your entire college career. Even though they piss you off, and you're ready to move on, you're completely aware of how they've affected your life.
I went through my first real job here; found a social life without the safety net of friends nearby; made my first big girl purchase here; navigated my way to a job I like; and found out what I'm really made of. That when the going gets tough, I fight back.
It took the state of Virginia and getting just far enough away to not be able to rely on anyone else but myself to see that my moral compass is pretty well tuned. I know what works for me and what I want out of life, love, friendships, roommates, and colleagues.
Three and a half years ago, I couldn't say that with any certainty.
I think you grow up more in the 4 years after college than you do during the 20 years leading up to that point. I am a prime example of that.
So while I say goodbye to the Commonwealth with a tear in my eye (hides it quickly) I am looking forward to a better quality of life, less of a commute, and more quality friend time with my Maryland people in the future.
And don't worry VA, I'll pay conjugal visits.
Maribeth is making her triumphant return back to Maryland.
And she's completely excited and freaked out about it.
As much as I have missed my friends and partners in crime in Maryland, being close to work and family...I've begun to realize that I am going to be really sad leaving Virginia.
I've made friends here, found a neighborhood....and I grew up here. This room houses a lot of memories; a lot of great times, a lot of trying times.
I likened it today to living in the same dorm room, with the same roommates, your entire college career. Even though they piss you off, and you're ready to move on, you're completely aware of how they've affected your life.
I went through my first real job here; found a social life without the safety net of friends nearby; made my first big girl purchase here; navigated my way to a job I like; and found out what I'm really made of. That when the going gets tough, I fight back.
It took the state of Virginia and getting just far enough away to not be able to rely on anyone else but myself to see that my moral compass is pretty well tuned. I know what works for me and what I want out of life, love, friendships, roommates, and colleagues.
Three and a half years ago, I couldn't say that with any certainty.
I think you grow up more in the 4 years after college than you do during the 20 years leading up to that point. I am a prime example of that.
So while I say goodbye to the Commonwealth with a tear in my eye (hides it quickly) I am looking forward to a better quality of life, less of a commute, and more quality friend time with my Maryland people in the future.
And don't worry VA, I'll pay conjugal visits.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Pop Culture Run Amok
I found out this past weekend that my mom has watched, of her own volition, Flavor of Love AND Rock of Love.
I thought it would take a lot more than something as trivial as celebreality television to crack my foundation; in one off the cuff remark by my mom after a family dinner Saturday night, I think my world was rocked. I'm talking an off-the-Richter-scale realization that my parents have cable and could possibly watching the same crap television that I secretly watch at 2am when I can't sleep. I'm still feeling the aftershocks!
I mean, this is akin to finding out one of my parents dabbled in drugs or had an illegitimate child!
Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic. But when my 54 year old mother could name all of the Flavor of Rock of Love Part 34323 girls, I was aghast.
I still am.
What has this world come to.
I thought it would take a lot more than something as trivial as celebreality television to crack my foundation; in one off the cuff remark by my mom after a family dinner Saturday night, I think my world was rocked. I'm talking an off-the-Richter-scale realization that my parents have cable and could possibly watching the same crap television that I secretly watch at 2am when I can't sleep. I'm still feeling the aftershocks!
I mean, this is akin to finding out one of my parents dabbled in drugs or had an illegitimate child!
Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic. But when my 54 year old mother could name all of the Flavor of Rock of Love Part 34323 girls, I was aghast.
I still am.
What has this world come to.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Sticker on your rear windshield?
Might as well be a bullseye.
Driving in traffic yesterday morning (well, mostly sitting in traffic, thank you Pope Benedict), I began thinking: How does someone decide what sticker to put on their bumpers/rear windshield?
There's the usual university window sticker faithful, proud alumni who want to let you know that they went to a better school than you did.
There's the flower child faithful, who put butterflies and rainbows all over their car's backside, just to let you know they're cute, girly, gay, and/or under the age of 18.
Then there's the political sticker posse, who want to let you know that behind this Suburban driving, gas guzzling ride is a diehard NRA member who, if you shoot them a dirty look when they cut you off for the 392nd time on the highway, that there's a loaded Glock in the glove compartment.
Likewise, there are the campaign stickers, no matter how out of date they are. You are supporting your candidate with that faded Sore/Loserman sticker from 2001 no matter what the public says. It's your civic duty, even though Pat Buchanan isn't even running for anything, or you still support Bill Richardson though he never polled above 14%.
Like tramp stamps, rearview window and bumper stickers are forever. Just like that tribal tattoo just above the crack of your ass, (for Jisrael who actually read this blog I have two words for you: plastic thong) I will judge you for having a lame set of stickers on your car. Keep it simple; keep it timeless, and for God's sake, keep it funny. Otherwise, what am I going to pay attention to when driving, the actual highway?
That's crazy talk.
Driving in traffic yesterday morning (well, mostly sitting in traffic, thank you Pope Benedict), I began thinking: How does someone decide what sticker to put on their bumpers/rear windshield?
There's the usual university window sticker faithful, proud alumni who want to let you know that they went to a better school than you did.
There's the flower child faithful, who put butterflies and rainbows all over their car's backside, just to let you know they're cute, girly, gay, and/or under the age of 18.
Then there's the political sticker posse, who want to let you know that behind this Suburban driving, gas guzzling ride is a diehard NRA member who, if you shoot them a dirty look when they cut you off for the 392nd time on the highway, that there's a loaded Glock in the glove compartment.
Likewise, there are the campaign stickers, no matter how out of date they are. You are supporting your candidate with that faded Sore/Loserman sticker from 2001 no matter what the public says. It's your civic duty, even though Pat Buchanan isn't even running for anything, or you still support Bill Richardson though he never polled above 14%.
Like tramp stamps, rearview window and bumper stickers are forever. Just like that tribal tattoo just above the crack of your ass, (for Jisrael who actually read this blog I have two words for you: plastic thong) I will judge you for having a lame set of stickers on your car. Keep it simple; keep it timeless, and for God's sake, keep it funny. Otherwise, what am I going to pay attention to when driving, the actual highway?
That's crazy talk.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Would you like some cheese
With that whine?
God bless my employees, they really do deal with a lot of crap, changes, difficult customers and less than forthcoming students with grace and ease.
But if you see a problem, don't tell me about every instance of the problem. Fix it, and let me know the overarching theme after you have adequately fixed it.
Or, if you bring a problem to me, and I say that I will speak with the person who caused it, don't immediately back down and say "well, I don't want it to be a big deal or beat a dead horse." Must not have been that big of a problem, huh? Must've been ok and you just felt like hearing yourself talk for 5 more minutes?
Did you also notice that during those 5 minutes (5 minutes of my life I will never get back, mind you) that I was sorting through a stack of paper, typing an email, and mentally querying 34 different ways to staple your mouth shut?
Probably not, because you live in self absorption land. Population you.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
God bless my employees, they really do deal with a lot of crap, changes, difficult customers and less than forthcoming students with grace and ease.
But if you see a problem, don't tell me about every instance of the problem. Fix it, and let me know the overarching theme after you have adequately fixed it.
Or, if you bring a problem to me, and I say that I will speak with the person who caused it, don't immediately back down and say "well, I don't want it to be a big deal or beat a dead horse." Must not have been that big of a problem, huh? Must've been ok and you just felt like hearing yourself talk for 5 more minutes?
Did you also notice that during those 5 minutes (5 minutes of my life I will never get back, mind you) that I was sorting through a stack of paper, typing an email, and mentally querying 34 different ways to staple your mouth shut?
Probably not, because you live in self absorption land. Population you.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Thank You Uncle Sam...
For reminding me that I have no real net worth.
I find the tax talk humorous, as I have a student assistant of mine who is an accounting major; coworkers with property and IRAs and retirement; my parents who are talking about retirement more and more each passing week (which is bizarre to me, seeing as my dad now takes every Wednesday off, and coming from a man who has taken 4 sick days in his entire adult life, that is quite a feat)...I realized something.
I am worth. Nothing.
I mean, I pay my taxes. I have a decent annual income and its growing with every passing performance review (Thanks State of Maryland). I owed the state of Virginia money this year and I have a car loan so, clearly, a few people are happy to see me being a semi-productive member of society as it means they can take more money from me.
But I need to start investing or buying property or punching out some spawn. I think my tax liability would go way down and really, come tax time, it'd be nice to not resort to filling out the 1040EZ form because I don't really have cause to itemize..well, anything.
My taxes this year, took me :drumroll please: 25 minutes to prepare and file. And that included trying to find my personal property tax bill from last year to see if it would help me get some more money back.
It didn't, just in case anyone is keeping score.
So, if anyone has an island they'd like to sell me, a condo that might be a little less than what you expected and you want to unload it, I've got that $600 stimulus package refund burning a hole in my pocket and I've got to do my part to help jump start the floundering economy. I mean, what else am I going to do with it?
I could go to dinner or by a new pair of sassy shoes, but really, am I the only one who thinks that spending$600 in the face of enormous mortgage and credit card debt is like pissing on a forest fire just so you can say you "did your part?"
I didn't think so.
I find the tax talk humorous, as I have a student assistant of mine who is an accounting major; coworkers with property and IRAs and retirement; my parents who are talking about retirement more and more each passing week (which is bizarre to me, seeing as my dad now takes every Wednesday off, and coming from a man who has taken 4 sick days in his entire adult life, that is quite a feat)...I realized something.
I am worth. Nothing.
I mean, I pay my taxes. I have a decent annual income and its growing with every passing performance review (Thanks State of Maryland). I owed the state of Virginia money this year and I have a car loan so, clearly, a few people are happy to see me being a semi-productive member of society as it means they can take more money from me.
But I need to start investing or buying property or punching out some spawn. I think my tax liability would go way down and really, come tax time, it'd be nice to not resort to filling out the 1040EZ form because I don't really have cause to itemize..well, anything.
My taxes this year, took me :drumroll please: 25 minutes to prepare and file. And that included trying to find my personal property tax bill from last year to see if it would help me get some more money back.
It didn't, just in case anyone is keeping score.
So, if anyone has an island they'd like to sell me, a condo that might be a little less than what you expected and you want to unload it, I've got that $600 stimulus package refund burning a hole in my pocket and I've got to do my part to help jump start the floundering economy. I mean, what else am I going to do with it?
I could go to dinner or by a new pair of sassy shoes, but really, am I the only one who thinks that spending$600 in the face of enormous mortgage and credit card debt is like pissing on a forest fire just so you can say you "did your part?"
I didn't think so.
Bringin it back
So I've been on, what, almost a year-long hiatus. I think it's high time I start posting again. And really, I know you guys out there in blogger land will appreciate it.
If you think of something interesting that you want me to write about, I am there. I am always looking for inspiration, and what better inspiration than my readers?!
That being said, this exercise is the last post that I put up on Blogger, and maybe it's a good place to start. Here goes!
You know the deal. Open your music library, put it on shuffle. Write down what comes up.
Opening Credits:
Redhead Walking - REM
Waking Up:
Forget Myself - Third Eye Blind
First Day At School:
Stop This Train - John Mayer
Falling in Love:
This Year's Love - David Gray
Breaking Up:
1, 2, 3, 4 Something New - Coolio
Prom:
Push It - Garbage
Life’s Okay:
Fly Like a Bird - Mariah Carey
Mental Breakdown:
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer
Driving:
Not Coming Home - Maroon 5
Flashback:
Hynotize - Notorious BIG
Getting Back Together:
Maneater - Hall and Oates!
Wedding:
This is the Last Time - Keane
Birth of a Child:
Rescue - Eve 6
Final Battle:
Rock You Like a Hurricane - The Scorpions
Death Scene:
October - U2
Funeral Song:
Darwin - Third Eye Blind
End Credits:
Black Cat - Janet Jackson
If you think of something interesting that you want me to write about, I am there. I am always looking for inspiration, and what better inspiration than my readers?!
That being said, this exercise is the last post that I put up on Blogger, and maybe it's a good place to start. Here goes!
You know the deal. Open your music library, put it on shuffle. Write down what comes up.
Opening Credits:
Redhead Walking - REM
Waking Up:
Forget Myself - Third Eye Blind
First Day At School:
Stop This Train - John Mayer
Falling in Love:
This Year's Love - David Gray
Breaking Up:
1, 2, 3, 4 Something New - Coolio
Prom:
Push It - Garbage
Life’s Okay:
Fly Like a Bird - Mariah Carey
Mental Breakdown:
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - John Mayer
Driving:
Not Coming Home - Maroon 5
Flashback:
Hynotize - Notorious BIG
Getting Back Together:
Maneater - Hall and Oates!
Wedding:
This is the Last Time - Keane
Birth of a Child:
Rescue - Eve 6
Final Battle:
Rock You Like a Hurricane - The Scorpions
Death Scene:
October - U2
Funeral Song:
Darwin - Third Eye Blind
End Credits:
Black Cat - Janet Jackson
Friday, June 22, 2007
This is all Phil's Phault.
You know the deal. Open your music library, put it on shuffle. Write down what comes up.
Opening Credits:
Blinded - Third Eye Blind
Waking Up:
Brilliant Disguise - Bruce Springsteen
First Day At School:
Vultures - John Mayer ----- HOW APPROPRIATE.
Falling in Love:
Wandering - Ben Folds
Breaking Up:
Where the Streets Have No Name - U2
Prom:
God of Wine - Third Eye Blind (very very appropriate)
Life’s Okay:
I'll Do Anything - Jason Mraz
Mental Breakdown:
Kill Yourself - Timbaland and Sebastian
Driving:
His Name is Lancelot- Spamalot
Flashback:
What Comes Around - Beastie Boys
Getting Back Together:
Mysterious Ways - U2
Wedding:
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim (this is going to be my pump up song for Nolan's wedding now. its official)
Birth of a Child:
Dreaming With a Broken Heart - John Mayer. Wow, way to be a downer iTunes....
Final Battle:
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
Death Scene:
Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me - U2
Funeral Song:
Light's Out - Billy Redfield
End Credits:
Move Bitch, Get Out the Way - Ludacris. Apparently, I go out hard.
Opening Credits:
Blinded - Third Eye Blind
Waking Up:
Brilliant Disguise - Bruce Springsteen
First Day At School:
Vultures - John Mayer ----- HOW APPROPRIATE.
Falling in Love:
Wandering - Ben Folds
Breaking Up:
Where the Streets Have No Name - U2
Prom:
God of Wine - Third Eye Blind (very very appropriate)
Life’s Okay:
I'll Do Anything - Jason Mraz
Mental Breakdown:
Kill Yourself - Timbaland and Sebastian
Driving:
His Name is Lancelot- Spamalot
Flashback:
What Comes Around - Beastie Boys
Getting Back Together:
Mysterious Ways - U2
Wedding:
Right Here, Right Now - Fatboy Slim (this is going to be my pump up song for Nolan's wedding now. its official)
Birth of a Child:
Dreaming With a Broken Heart - John Mayer. Wow, way to be a downer iTunes....
Final Battle:
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
Death Scene:
Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me - U2
Funeral Song:
Light's Out - Billy Redfield
End Credits:
Move Bitch, Get Out the Way - Ludacris. Apparently, I go out hard.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
I was right about Billy Donovan.
I would just like the record to state that I was right about Billy Donovan. He is a skeezer, and I hope the world knows it.
I don't want to hear anymore hype about how his heart is in Gainesville and that he made a mistake by signing with the Magic. No.
That's a load of crap.
Now that no one will wipe his ass for him after his morning constitutional like they did a UF, NOW the reality sets in. The lifespan of an NBA coach who can't immediately produce after you win back to back national titles will be about 3.4 seconds.
Billy D, how do you think your loyal Gator fans will receive you after you ditched them for a bigger paycheck and the possibility of more exposure after the amount of press you've gotten from winning a pair of Sears Trophies?
You're officially gator bait Billy-D. I hope you enjoy it. I know I will.
I don't want to hear anymore hype about how his heart is in Gainesville and that he made a mistake by signing with the Magic. No.
That's a load of crap.
Now that no one will wipe his ass for him after his morning constitutional like they did a UF, NOW the reality sets in. The lifespan of an NBA coach who can't immediately produce after you win back to back national titles will be about 3.4 seconds.
Billy D, how do you think your loyal Gator fans will receive you after you ditched them for a bigger paycheck and the possibility of more exposure after the amount of press you've gotten from winning a pair of Sears Trophies?
You're officially gator bait Billy-D. I hope you enjoy it. I know I will.
You get the Womp Womp Award of the Week.
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