Things that gripe my ass

So, I got a raise at work, effective July 1. Awesome right?

I also moved to Maryland, so now the state will deduct my taxes right from paycheck and I won't have to go through the song and dance of making estimated payments, etc. Awesome right?


NO.

NOT AWESOME.

I checked my account balance this morning since we got paid and I got paid less this time than I have almost ever.

Those god damn Maryland democrats are taking my money on taxes and spending it to teach kids Eskimo poetry and save the whales.

Wait, I am a Maryland democrat.

Ok well, I guess it's going to go use.

I want my money.

Writing at least 2 times a week

...even if it kills me.

It might kill me.

Thanks Jason, you're always an inspiration.

So I was asked to evaluate the relationships of the 10 people I interact with most.

This was daunting to find 10 people I felt worthy of such an exercise.

And I tried to put this exercise to constructive use, starting with M2 (those of you who don't know who that is, ask and I'll tell you) and he was completely resistant to it. He avoids conflict at all costs, and I've found that to be counterproductive for me.

I tried to explain the balance between picking a fight and flushing out grievances in a timely and respectful manner.

I realized that his top phrases are (in no particular order):
1) it is what it is
2) I don't know what to tell you
3) I don't want to argue
4) you would

These are avoidance phrases if I've ever heard them, and I don't think it's healthy for me to be in a friendship with someone who isn't willing to at least discuss the difficult stuff with me. It makes me realize that my friends who I've had spats with, even full blown fights and year(s) long spells of not speaking to each other, are wonderful and courageous people, because I am not an easy verbal sparring partner.

But I think in my 25 years I've learned when you fold em and when to hold em. And, hopefully after tomorrow, will have a better idea where to proceed with the relationships of the people I interact with most, because some of them, I found out this weekend, are not at all healthy.

On a positive note, I think my sunburn has finally stopped peeling.

You know what that means...

All of you who bought stock in Aloe and other associated Johnson and Johnson products are out of luck. I tried to boost the economy with one bad sunburn, but alas...even my Irishness couldn't get us out of this one.

We have blue bowls

Inside joke from when we were painting pottery at Color Me Mine.

I made a kick arse bowl too, which I can't wait to pick up on Friday. Wee.

The Friday..err...Monday Five?

1. What drink wakes you up best in the morning?
I really enjoy a nice glass of pulp free orange juice. Wakes up the taste buds.

2. During the day, what do you drink to keep going?
Ice cold coca-cola. I know it's bad, but its so good.

3. Do you drink the recommended 8 glasses of water per day? Why/why not?
I don't, but when I used to, I did feel a lot better. Especially during the 9 times a day I had to pee.

4. What are the ingredients of your favorite mixed drink? (Doesn't have to be alcoholic!)
I am addicted to sour mix.

5. Are you a coffee drinker? How do you take your coffee, if so?
Not really a coffee drinker, but when I do, cream and two sugars.

Feeling is overrated

I feel like in the past 6 months, I've been punched in the gut (proverbially) more times than ever before in my life.

I think that I've finally discovered the reason why; I've allowed myself to feel, love, gethurt, and heal, for the first time in a long time.

And I don't know if I am any better for it.

That being said, I've made one of the best friends of my entire life who will keep hurting me and loving me all at the same time, just not in the ways I want him to.

So that's my baggage I guess.

Ok Enough Of this Sappiness

And now, a picture of a panda, just to make you smile.




As Matty would say, Pandas are nature's cuddlebugs.

Maryland, my Maryland

That's right. You heard it here first.

Maribeth is making her triumphant return back to Maryland.

And she's completely excited and freaked out about it.

As much as I have missed my friends and partners in crime in Maryland, being close to work and family...I've begun to realize that I am going to be really sad leaving Virginia.

I've made friends here, found a neighborhood....and I grew up here. This room houses a lot of memories; a lot of great times, a lot of trying times.

I likened it today to living in the same dorm room, with the same roommates, your entire college career. Even though they piss you off, and you're ready to move on, you're completely aware of how they've affected your life.

I went through my first real job here; found a social life without the safety net of friends nearby; made my first big girl purchase here; navigated my way to a job I like; and found out what I'm really made of. That when the going gets tough, I fight back.

It took the state of Virginia and getting just far enough away to not be able to rely on anyone else but myself to see that my moral compass is pretty well tuned. I know what works for me and what I want out of life, love, friendships, roommates, and colleagues.

Three and a half years ago, I couldn't say that with any certainty.

I think you grow up more in the 4 years after college than you do during the 20 years leading up to that point. I am a prime example of that.

So while I say goodbye to the Commonwealth with a tear in my eye (hides it quickly) I am looking forward to a better quality of life, less of a commute, and more quality friend time with my Maryland people in the future.

And don't worry VA, I'll pay conjugal visits.

Pop Culture Run Amok

I found out this past weekend that my mom has watched, of her own volition, Flavor of Love AND Rock of Love.

I thought it would take a lot more than something as trivial as celebreality television to crack my foundation; in one off the cuff remark by my mom after a family dinner Saturday night, I think my world was rocked. I'm talking an off-the-Richter-scale realization that my parents have cable and could possibly watching the same crap television that I secretly watch at 2am when I can't sleep. I'm still feeling the aftershocks!

I mean, this is akin to finding out one of my parents dabbled in drugs or had an illegitimate child!

Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic. But when my 54 year old mother could name all of the Flavor of Rock of Love Part 34323 girls, I was aghast.

I still am.

What has this world come to.

Sticker on your rear windshield?

Might as well be a bullseye.

Driving in traffic yesterday morning (well, mostly sitting in traffic, thank you Pope Benedict), I began thinking: How does someone decide what sticker to put on their bumpers/rear windshield?

There's the usual university window sticker faithful, proud alumni who want to let you know that they went to a better school than you did.

There's the flower child faithful, who put butterflies and rainbows all over their car's backside, just to let you know they're cute, girly, gay, and/or under the age of 18.

Then there's the political sticker posse, who want to let you know that behind this Suburban driving, gas guzzling ride is a diehard NRA member who, if you shoot them a dirty look when they cut you off for the 392nd time on the highway, that there's a loaded Glock in the glove compartment.

Likewise, there are the campaign stickers, no matter how out of date they are. You are supporting your candidate with that faded Sore/Loserman sticker from 2001 no matter what the public says. It's your civic duty, even though Pat Buchanan isn't even running for anything, or you still support Bill Richardson though he never polled above 14%.

Like tramp stamps, rearview window and bumper stickers are forever. Just like that tribal tattoo just above the crack of your ass, (for Jisrael who actually read this blog I have two words for you: plastic thong) I will judge you for having a lame set of stickers on your car. Keep it simple; keep it timeless, and for God's sake, keep it funny. Otherwise, what am I going to pay attention to when driving, the actual highway?

That's crazy talk.

Would you like some cheese

With that whine?

God bless my employees, they really do deal with a lot of crap, changes, difficult customers and less than forthcoming students with grace and ease.

But if you see a problem, don't tell me about every instance of the problem. Fix it, and let me know the overarching theme after you have adequately fixed it.

Or, if you bring a problem to me, and I say that I will speak with the person who caused it, don't immediately back down and say "well, I don't want it to be a big deal or beat a dead horse." Must not have been that big of a problem, huh? Must've been ok and you just felt like hearing yourself talk for 5 more minutes?

Did you also notice that during those 5 minutes (5 minutes of my life I will never get back, mind you) that I was sorting through a stack of paper, typing an email, and mentally querying 34 different ways to staple your mouth shut?

Probably not, because you live in self absorption land. Population you.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.