Sticker on your rear windshield?

Might as well be a bullseye.

Driving in traffic yesterday morning (well, mostly sitting in traffic, thank you Pope Benedict), I began thinking: How does someone decide what sticker to put on their bumpers/rear windshield?

There's the usual university window sticker faithful, proud alumni who want to let you know that they went to a better school than you did.

There's the flower child faithful, who put butterflies and rainbows all over their car's backside, just to let you know they're cute, girly, gay, and/or under the age of 18.

Then there's the political sticker posse, who want to let you know that behind this Suburban driving, gas guzzling ride is a diehard NRA member who, if you shoot them a dirty look when they cut you off for the 392nd time on the highway, that there's a loaded Glock in the glove compartment.

Likewise, there are the campaign stickers, no matter how out of date they are. You are supporting your candidate with that faded Sore/Loserman sticker from 2001 no matter what the public says. It's your civic duty, even though Pat Buchanan isn't even running for anything, or you still support Bill Richardson though he never polled above 14%.

Like tramp stamps, rearview window and bumper stickers are forever. Just like that tribal tattoo just above the crack of your ass, (for Jisrael who actually read this blog I have two words for you: plastic thong) I will judge you for having a lame set of stickers on your car. Keep it simple; keep it timeless, and for God's sake, keep it funny. Otherwise, what am I going to pay attention to when driving, the actual highway?

That's crazy talk.